A Large List of Pros and Cons of Having a Big Family

Thinking about having a large family? Learn about the pros and cons of having a big family.  

Pros and Cons of Having a Big Family

When my husband and I got married, we envisioned an average sized family. We thought that two, maybe three kids, would be perfect for us. 

I am the oldest of five kids. I have two sisters and two brothers, the youngest of whom is 20 years younger than me. My husband is the oldest of three, all of whom were born within just a few years of each other.

Three seemed like a good number to us.

We now have four kids. 

How did we end up with more than we planned?

For us, it just felt right. After our third baby, who was supposed to be our last, was about a year and a half old, we decided to try for just one more baby. Our fourth was born about a year later, after a miscarriage and a difficult pregnancy. 

With four kids, we had our larger than average family. 

But what is considered a large family?

What is a Large Family? 

According to Statista, the average amount of children in a family in the U.S. has dropped to 1.9 from 2.5. 

So basically, any family that has 3 or more kids would be considered more than average.

Many people consider four or more kids to be a ‘large family’ but of course that depends on where you live and the size of families in your community. 

For instance, in my area, four kids in a family is large. Most of my kids’ classmates come from families with one or two kids. In their school, there are only a few other families with that many kids or more, one of the largest having eleven kids. (And that many kids in a stable family in this area is fairly rare!)

But in other areas of the United States, a family with four kids might be considered average and not large. A large family might be considered to have seven kids or more. 

No matter how ‘large’ the big family is, there are pros and cons of having a large family. 

Note: These pros and cons are dependent upon a number of factors, including location, age difference between kids, outside support, financial stability, mental health, and much more. Some of these pros and cons may not apply to everyone. 

Pros of Having a Big Family

Ask any mom or dad about what the pros are of having a big family, and you’re likely to get these responses:

• Kids always have other kids to play with. 
• There is a lot of laughter. 
• Kids won’t be lonely when they grow up and parents are gone.
• Parents get pretty good at planning events and appointments. 
• Kids may learn better social skills.
• Kids learn life skills earlier in life. 
• Kids have more opportunities to learn patience.
• Older kids are there to help with younger kids.
• There are always enough people to play board games or sport games. 
• Older kids help younger kids with homework.
• Kids will have someone to ride rides at amusement parks. 
• The family gets really good at reusing, upcycling, and recycling. 
• Life is never boring.
• There is always someone around for conversation. 
• Kids often become very creative. 
• Kids learn to share better.
• Depending on how you shop, you can find great savings buying in bulk.
• Parents learn to budget better. 
• When you get older, there might be always family to visit and care for you. 
• There are more people to help out with chores in the home. 
• So many fun memories are made. 
• Someday, you could end up with a lot of grandchildren.
• There is a lot of love.

I can certainly attest to many of these, being the oldest of five and a mom to four. 

For one, it’s so nice for my kids to have each other to play with. There’s always a playmate around, one to play games with, ride bikes with, make crafts with, or to sit and read books together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s also nice to have a little group of helpers around the house. Sure, they make a lot of messes, but they’re always around to help clean everything up. 

Life is definitely never boring. There’s so much going on all the time! Even when we’re just sitting at home, there’s a lot going on. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s also really nice to see how the older siblings interact with the younger siblings, especially when the older ones are teaching the younger ones a new skill. Boy, does this come in handy during homework time! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And let’s not forget about the abundance of love. As a mom, you never know how you might love another child as much as your first, but because you’re a mom, your heart just expands to love each and every child, even if it’s a little differently. Add into that the real love of the family as whole, and it’s a whole lotta love. 

Just as there are so many good things about having a large family, there are quite a few cons as well. 

Cons of Having a Big Family

There’s the upside, and then there’s the downside. If you’re thinking about having a large family, you may want to consider these items: 

• It can get chaotic fast. 
• It can be very expensive.
• You might be in the diaper stage for a long time.
• You need a larger vehicle or two. 
• It can be very loud. 
• Your house will seem like it has less space. 
• You get asked a lot of questions, including if you know how pregnancy happens. 
• Pregnancies can be difficult, especially after the first few babies are born. 
• It can be hard to get one-on-one time with kids. 
• It is difficult to get all kids looking at the camera nicely at the same time for a photo.
• Parents might not call kids by their right names the first, or even second time. 
• Parents may not get alone time in the bathroom.
• Oldest kids sometimes can feel resentful of youngest kids. 
• Kids don’t always want to play with each other.
• It can get messy fast. 
• Stuff accumulates quickly. So.much.stuff. 
• It takes a lot of planning to go almost anywhere. 
• Going out to eat or planning a vacation can be challenging. 
• You might get a lot of stares in public. 
• When friends or family visit, it can be even more chaotic. 
• You run out of food fast. 
• It’s hard to find a babysitter who can positively handle more than a few kids. 
• There might be less time for romance between the parents. 
• Extracurricular activities can be expensive with multiple kids participating. 
• School mornings can be very chaotic.
• There is a lot of homework. 
• It can be physically and emotionally draining some days. 
• Laundry never ends. 
• It might be impossible to pay for daycare, especially in one income households. 
• One bathroom houses are a challenge. 
• Parents may not get a restful night’s sleep for a while. 

Yeah, so there are a lot of cons. Some are little annoyances, some are a bit more difficult to handle. 

With big families can come big messes, and lots of stuff. We have six people living here, which means 2-3 pairs of shoes per person, toys galore, dishes, craft supplies, games, etc. It can get messy fast! If everyone does a little bit to help out, then usually these messes can be organized and cleaned up pretty fast. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And yeah, laundry…let’s not go there. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Everything can get pretty expensive. Groceries, household supplies, sports equipment, clothing, eating out…and the list goes on. We do our best to budget and use cash back apps like Ibotta or Fetch to get the most savings we can.

Managing the chaos can be a challenge some days, but if routines are in place, chaos can be much more manageable. Having a school morning routine is a must, as well as a bedtime routine. Pretty much, having a routine for everything can solve a lot of issues. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Getting out of the house with everyone in tow is one of those things that benefits from both routine and patience. Patience, not only for all of the kids getting ready and out the door, but also for anything and everyone you encounter in public. You’ll have longer wait times for tables at restaurants, stares and sometimes comments from strangers, the need to keep everyone safe and cooperative, etc. It’s challenging, but it is doable. 

In fact, all of this is challenging but doable. Sometimes you just have to be creative on how you need to tackle the challenge for the benefit of the whole family. 

Should I Have a Big Family Then? 

You might think if there are so many cons, why do people have big families then? 

For one, the cons aren’t issues all of the time. Big families have their good and bad days, just like any family. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Then there’s two things that help to keep it all together even when things appear to be falling apart: communication and love. 

Communication is vital, especially between parents. And not just after you have all of the kids. Communication between parents should start BEFORE you even have any kids. 

A very important discussion to have with your spouse is how many kids would be right for your family and how you will both work to manage it all. Too often I see in parenting groups how one parent wants more kids but the other doesn’t, and it can cause strife and stress. 

Then there’s love. Not just just hearts and roses kind of love, but real love. Real love that comes from hard work and dedication. Real love that chooses the betterment of the whole family rather than self. That kind of love needs to be between the parents but it also needs to be from parents to children and amongst siblings. 

When the whole family works together out of love, even on the worst days, any of these ‘cons’ or challenges will just be a bump in the road that you can face together. 

Do You Want to Have a Large Family?

So, what do you think about the pros and cons of having a large family? Is it right for you? If you already have a large family, is there anything you’d add? Please leave a comment below, and be sure to share!