What might go wrong in parenting life will definitely go wrong. It’s the Murphy’s Laws of Parenting.
Murphy’s Laws of Parenting
Parenting is a day to day adventure. Anything can happen at any moment, and it varies from child to child. You never know what to expect!
After a series of recent events in my household, I was inspired to list some of the Murphy’s Laws of Parenting. Don’t know what Murphy’s Laws are? Basically, they are events where anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
For example:
- It will rain as soon as you wash your car.
- You get into the ‘Express Lane’ at the grocery store and then stand there waiting for 30 minutes.
Get the picture?
Here’s a list of my Murphy’s Laws for parents. Some may be familiar to you, but most have been inspired by my day to day life with my kids:
- Kids won’t notice your existence until you: a) make an important phone call, b) go to the bathroom, c)pick up a good book, etc. There’s something magical about a parent who moves and acts like any other adult. Sit right next to your child though, and you’re non-existent.
- The phone will ring or someone will knock on the door just as you sit down to nurse the baby. It never fails. You sit down, get a good latch, and then either the phone rings or someone knocks on the door. Breastfeeding moms, I’m sure you know how I feel! Sure, you can keep the cordless or your cell next to you, but them that’s just inviting someone to call…
- You get the hiccups just when you get to an important point in your rant about…well, anything. When I try to talk to my daughter in a serious voice about why it’s not nice to pinch people, I get the hiccups. When I try to explain to my son that it’s not polite to call people ‘bubble face’, I get the hiccups. They kinda ruin the entire discussion…
- Your children will be the exact opposite of what you expect. A child may look sweet and innocent, but looks can be deceiving! Or, you may have been a quiet child, but your children turn out to be wild Energizer Bunnies (in my case).
- Every child will pee on you at some time. Okay, this one you should expect. You’ll go to open the diaper or switch out the old for the new and splish splash, you’re given a pee bath. And let’s not forget the times the diapers leak or they forget to go potty when only wearing underwear. Get a poncho. You may need it someday!
- Your car will be completely empty of gas when you are running late for an appointment. It never fails; you may be very good at monitoring the gas level in your car, but the day before you have an appointment for something, you won’t even notice that the level of gas in your car is actually negative, way past the little E. Not that I have experience in this…
- Even though you vowed never to become your parents you became them anyway. It’s okay to admit it. It has happened to all of us at one point or another.
- Chances are if you have an emergency with one kid they will all need your attention at the same time. Child 1 scrapes a knee while at the same time Child 2 needs a drink and Child 3 needs an immediate diaper change, which leads me to the next one…
- Babies will wait to have a blowout diaper until right before you leave the house. It doesn’t matter why you’re leaving the house, but just because you decided to meticulously plan your outing, the baby will have a blowout, up the back, super gross diaper. Get out the poncho and some rubber gloves; you’ll need them for cleanup. To prevent the blowout diaper from holding you back, you could ‘pretend’ to be ready to leave about 15 minutes earlier than expected. That way, you’ll be able to clean up the explosion and still leave on time. (C’mon. Who has time to pretend to leave?!)
- Just when you think you know how to raise your children, someone changes the rules. Think about it: thirty years ago, it was okay to have your baby sleep on his/her belly. Ten years ago, it was recommended that they sleep on their sides, propped up. Now, we all know back-is-best. Just imagine how our parents or grandparents feel when they have to babysit!
- The kids will wake up from a nap the moment you start a task you were hoping to accomplish while they were sleeping. Do you want to know how many times I sat down to write this during naptime??
- A doorbell or phone will ring when you finally get your fussy baby to sleep. What took an hour or more to accomplish can take a mere second to undo. You could bounce or rock all you want, but the second you place your little angel down to sleep, he or she will be awakened.
- Company will come to visit the day you decide to rest instead of cleaning up after the kids. You know it’s futile to clean up with kids in the house, and yet you still try every day. But the one day that you just let them tear everything apart, there will be a knock at the door.
- Kids will beg and plead for a toy or game, only to become instantly bored with it a mere hour after receiving it. Just wait until Christmastime. You’ll see.
This may all seem like complaining, but you know what? It’s instances like these that keep us parents on our toes. If they didn’t happen, parenting would be boring! We need some comic relief throughout our busy days to remind us what parenting is really about: molding and shaping our little ones into the great adults we know they’ll be.
And if it means some mishaps along the way, so be it. Some of the best lessons in life are learned when things go awry!
What do you think are the Murphy’s Laws of parenting? Which ones above can you relate to? Share your ideas or stories with me in the comments below!
Marissa McKenna says
Hi all! There was a comment here from Jess that was accidentally deleted (clumsy fingers!). Here’s what she said:
“I can really relate to “Babies will wait to have a blowout diaper until right before you leave the house.” It is so true!! I can’t even tell you how many times my daughter poo’ed her diaper right after I got her dressed in a cute outfit and we were about to leave. Cue the diaper and outfit change!”
Thanks so much, Jess, for your comment!
Unique Heart says
Yep so true every one of them
Marissa McKenna says
Unique Heart, glad you agree!
misty marroquin says
I have experienced ALL of those with my two toddlers at some point in this journey of motherhood. My least favorite of all is when you finally brave up and go out to a restaurant that doesn’t not have a playground; your kid gets sick during dinner. And you lose your appetitie before you even took a bite of that $40 steak that was just placed in front of you. Sigh!
Marissa McKenna says
Isn’t that the worst? That has happened to me a few times as well!
Kate says
At least we are not alone. I can relate to most of those that you mentioned. Only just yesterday I got the girls ready to go. I start loading up the car and the sky opens up a torrential downpour. (I live in south Texas…it NEVER rains. I don’t think I even own an umbrella…I never need it. So, after loading all our stuff and girls I am completely soaked and my nice smooth hair is frizzing. I get in my car and the rain slows to a drizzle. Really?
Marissa McKenna says
It never fails!
Tristan says
Oh my, yes! I’ve experienced most with eight children.
What about: The minute you sit down to a hot meal the baby WILL wake from his nap and want fed. Even if he just ate 20 minutes ago.
Marissa McKenna says
That’s another great one, for sure! I’ve had to feed the baby more than once during a mealtime.
Dara @ Not In Jersey says
very true and funny as well! (I lol’d at the hiccup one!). the last one has happened to me recently. my 6 year old begged for a remote control helicopter. when I ordered him one as a reward, he asked me 5 times a day when it would come. sure enough, when he got it, he didn’t very much want it anymore. sigh.
Stopping by from the blogelina commentathon!
~ Dara
Marissa McKenna says
Don’t you hate it! This year, I’m staying far away from those toys the kids ‘must’ have and I’m giving them cardboard boxes… 😉
Jaime Weis says
YES!!! If I’m going to get an unannounced visitor, it ALWAYS happens right when I’ve sat down to nurse OR just as he’s nursing to sleep!
Marissa McKenna says
It can be so frustrating! There was a time when I was getting several door-to-door sales people a day who would come right as I was nursing. I had to put a sign on my door saying ‘No solicitations’ just so they wouldn’t come on my porch!
Rebecca @ Love at First Book says
I don’t have any kids myself, but great post!
-Rebecca @ Love at First Book
Marissa McKenna says
Thanks!
Doña Bumgarner says
The only one of these I haven’t experience first hand is having multiple kids vying for my attention and that’s only because so far I only have one! Here’s one more: The night you stay up just a little too late yourself is the night your little one will be up sick, or have a nightmare or otherwise be awake all through the wee hours.
Marissa McKenna says
Oh, that one is so true! It happens to me every time I try to catch up on the blog late at night, or watch my favorite movie after the kids go to bed.
Brittany Thomas says
Great big YES! Why must there be so many Murphy’s Laws of Parenting? Kids are crazy enough as it is. lol I just had a phone call mess up nap time today.
Marissa McKenna says
That’s the exact reason why is disconnected my phones upstairs! Too many calls during naptime=super cranky kids
Gail Thomas says
Everything you have said is true! Always has been , and always will be in the world of parenting! It is very good to see it with a sense of humor like you do! However, the “humor” of a situaion usually does not hit you til days (or years..many many years later! 🙂
Marissa McKenna says
Oh, if I didn’t have my sense of humor, I’d be one crazy lunatic right now! I could just see myself rocking in a corner, frizzy hair, no makeup… Lol
Gail Thomas says
yup. Thats me. Right now. 20 years later..hahaha!
Serious
Tammy says
Oh my goodness this made me laugh out loud and I could relate to a few of them. Especially the poop time right when something important is going on. Like having my babies picture made and he decides to fill that diaper. The photographer got a great shot of that look on his face and when he went in for his Senior pictures years later, he had blown up that picture and had it out front when we came in. It was a classic and a wonderful memory.
Marissa McKenna says
That’s hilarious! I bet he enjoyed seeing that. 🙂
Jean @sonotorganized.com says
Oh, I can really relate to this! I like the rules changing one. I think once you get the hang of one stage with the kids, they enter a new one as well.
Marissa McKenna says
That’s right! Forgot about the changing of stages. 🙂
Vita says
I thoroughly enjoyed this list although I’m not a mum yet. It makes me excited (and slightly worried) about my future kids! 🙂
Marissa McKenna says
Stay excited! While tough at times, being a parent can be a lot of fun. 🙂
Stacey Gibbon says
Can I say I was nodding my head the whole time? And my son is only TWO.
Can’t wait for the day I can go to the bathroom by myself. Who knew I would miss that? HA
-Stacey
Gluedtomycrafts.blogspot.com
Marissa McKenna says
What is this ‘going to the bathroom alone’ of which you speak? I don’t remember what that’s like! 😉
Elizabeth FrugalMomEh says
I always found the blowouts happened whenever she was dressed in the cutest of her outfits and never before we left, always right when we arrived. Awful!
Elizabeth FrugalMomEh says
I always found the blowouts happened when my daughter was in the cutest of her outfits and never before we left, always right after arriving!
Marissa McKenna says
That just gave me the idea to create decoy cute outfits…you put one on baby before you leave, baby has the blowout, and then you put on the actual outfit. Genius! But then baby spits up all over your nice outfit…back to square one. 🙂
Jacquelyn says
This is why I give 2x the time it should take to do any task in my daily schedule
Marissa McKenna says
Good thinking!
Spoon Feast says
My 14 month son decided to vomit all over his car seat, clothing and everything else while on the way to the airport for a cross country trip. We had to make a quick detour to the mall to replace what we needed on the plane. the rest got cleaned up after we got back. Good thing it was winter.
Marissa McKenna says
Oh my goodness!!
Athena Nagel says
Those are all so true. I love the bathroom one. No sooner do I go to the bathroom and my kids are calling for me. My husband will often intervene and tell them to give me a couple minutes peace. But then my husband will call me. I am sure he doesn’t realized he does exactly the same thing…
Marissa McKenna says
My husband is the same way!
andrea says
sorry – don’t have any kids – but i betcha my mom coulda used somethin like this when we were growing up…
Marissa McKenna says
I’m sure she would agree with them all! 😉
Cher says
SO true! I struggle day to day with all of these!
Marissa McKenna says
Things get better as the kiddos get older. 🙂
Jana Sooter says
I totally relate to all of these. I call my phone my kid magnet.
Marissa McKenna says
I love that nickname!
Emily Thompson says
hahaha!! AHHH only a mom could understand these :o) My boys literally co out of control every time I am on the phone. Even if they have been perfect all day! Stopping by from the comment-a-thon…. Emily
Marissa McKenna says
Same here!
lady lady says
I don’t have children yet but I have seen a few of these things happen to parents. you are right. It’s truly like Alanis Morissette’s song “Ironic” 🙂
Marissa McKenna says
Isn’t it ironic? 😉
lady lady says
I don’t have children yet but I have seen a few of these things happen to parents. you are right. It’s truly like Alanis Morissette’s song “Ironic” 🙂
Maura says
“Or, you may have been a quiet child, but your children turn out to be wild Energizer Bunnies” – I can so related to that! Both my husband and I are introverts and we have the most talkative, outgoing daughter in the world! Where did she come from??? 🙂
Marissa McKenna says
All three of my kids are turning out to be extroverts. I call my oldest Mr. President because he’ll talk to anyone!
Tiffany Mitchell says
These are all so true but the one that rings true in my house the most is the telephone thing. I can be in the living room with my daughter ALLLLLL day long and she won’t NEED me for anything. As soon as I have to make a phone call she has 34 emergencies and is starving to death. lol
Marissa McKenna says
It never fails!
Thinking Outside The Sandbox says
We had a – they will never be sick until you go on vacation – moment this weekend. Urg.
Marissa McKenna says
Oh no! I hope everything turned out okay!
Thinking Outside The Sandbox says
Great post! I love this list. If you ever want to guest post over at totsfamily.com pop us an email!
Marissa McKenna says
Thanks! I’ll consider!
Angi says
These are so accurate. And funny!
Angi from Tim and Angi
Marissa McKenna says
Glad they made you smile!
Kasey Shuler says
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kasey Shuler says
I have my first one on the way, so I’m looking forward to these! 😉
Marissa McKenna says
Congratulations!!
Amy Boyington says
All so true! The “blowout diaper” one on the graphic made me laugh, especially, because my son is perfect for this. Everytime we go anywhere important, like a doctor’s visit, he has to stink up the place. It doesn’t matter that I JUST changed him literally moments before. As soon as we’re in the room and at the most inconvenient time, stink-o-rama. It’s ridiculous.
Marissa McKenna says
It’s as if they know the air smells pleasant and they need to stink the place up.. 🙂
Shauna S says
Yes, lol, these are so true. Everyday I feel as if I joined the clown act at the circus. Can’t my kids be as calm as “so and so’s”….nope. Great post.
Marissa McKenna says
That’s a great way to describe it.. the clown act at the circus!
Nikki says
These are all so true, especially the toy one! I remember going nuts on Christmas Eve one year getting that Bigfoot toy for my son. He wanted it and I wasn’t going to get it. At the last minute, I decided to since I had extra money. He played with that $80 toy exactly twice! Ugh!!
Marissa McKenna says
I promised myself this year that I wouldn’t once again get those big things the kids want. I’m saving up some nice cardboard boxes and a pack of markers so they can decorate them.. lol
Mama in Montana says
True true true! If you share these with non-parents it might frighten them, so let’s keep it an existing parent “secret”
Marissa McKenna says
Oh, c’mon! Don’t you like seeing their scared faces when they hear of our stories? Just kidding! Let them figure these things out on their own. 🙂
K Quinn says
Heehee. So true. All of it. My daughter actually waited to pee on me when she was a bit older. She had been sick and I had her in bed with me. I took it in stride and cleaned us and the bed up.
Marissa McKenna says
Aw! Yeah, accidents do happen, even when they’re older.
Jessica InTruBeauty says
So very true! They can be a handful!
Taynia | The Fiscal Flamingo says
We always have company on the day I decide to be lazy. ALWAYS! Thanks for the giggles.
Rochelle Barlow says
Oh my gosh, yes yes yes to all of these! Especially someone dropping by when you decided not to clean up that day and that your napping child wakes up just as start to dive into a project.
Brittany Jean says
I have so much respect for my parent friends. Once you have kids, EVERYTHING becomes more complicated!