When Your Pregnancy Isn’t Perfect for the Kids

I know, I know. Your pregnancy isn’t all you ever dreamed it would be, but now you have to worry about what your kids think about it?

Well, yeah. 

It can actually be much harder on you when your pregnancy isn’t ‘perfect’ for the kids. Let me explain. 

Pregnancy Isn’t Perfect

For this my final pregnancy, I not only have had to deal with morning sickness (all day sickness) and complications from a subchorionic hemorrhage and Schamberg’s Disease, I also have three kiddos to tend to. They are three very active kiddos, who like to be entertained and to have fun, especially outside during the summer.

In a perfect world, this pregnancy wouldn’t have any effect on them. In a perfect world, Mommy would be glowing with pregnancy, happy to frolic and play and do all sorts of things mommies should do. Mommy would be always happy in anticipation of a new kiddo who would be joining the ranks.

Unfortunately for my kiddos, summer was a lil’ bit of a bummer this year. Here’s my little note to them:

Dear Kiddos,

I’m sorry my pregnancy isn’t fun for you. I know you wanted to play and run and ride bikes and swim and do all kinds of fun summertime activities, but I just can’t do all that right now.

Want to know something? It isn’t fun for me either. I’m sorry, but my pregnancy isn’t perfect. For the first 15 weeks, I suffered from morning sickness. Know what that’s like? Try spinning around for 5 minutes straight and then try to do your chores. Feel like throwing up? Yeah, me too.

I’m sorry I can’t pick you up and carry you everywhere. The doctor put me under restrictions for a few weeks, and now after that my back aches from carrying my belly bump. Soon, I can pick you up again!

I know you like to be outside, and I want you to be outside too. But heat, humidity, and bugs will keep me indoors. Have you seen the bugs swarm me as soon as I step into the yard? They like me a little too much right now.

I’m sorry I’m so tired all the time to do all of the fun things. You see, I’m growing a human being, and it takes a ton of energy. If I need to nap, please let me rest. If we need to go to bed early, we’ll go to bed early.

Three more months, that is all. Just three months. Trust me, they’ll fly by fast. After that and my recovery, I’ll start going back to me. Sure, I’ll have a new little sibling to take care of, but I won’t be sick or in pain. It’ll be a slow process, but the old me will come back.

Until then, please don’t whine or beg. Let’s enjoy the couch cuddles. Let’s enjoy the movies. Let’s enjoy playing video games or on your tablets. Let’s enjoy the coloring, and the book reading, and all of the playing you can do with Daddy.

Enjoy all that now, because next spring and summer we’ll be outside a lot more! We’ll go to more places and do more things!  I can’t wait for all of the fun we’ll have!

Love,

Your favorite Mommy

How to Handle Your Kids When You’re Pregnant

[bctt tweet=”READ: How to handle your older #kids during #pregnancy. #parenting”]

When it isn’t all sunshine and roses, you need to be ready to handle your older kids when you’re pregnant.

• Explain to your kids the process of being pregnant. They’re kids, so this whole pregnancy thing is foreign to them especially if you’re talking about toddlers and preschoolers. It’s a good idea to explain what’s going on in your body in terms they can understand. It might even be a good idea to watch some videos with them that show how a baby grows inside of you. I like to show my kiddos the weekly video in my pregnancy app so they have an idea of what’s going on.
• Keep them involved with the pregnancy. Sometimes kids can feel left out when you are always talking about your pregnancy. Involve them in any way you can. Ask them for name suggestions (that can be so much fun!). Let them help you set up the baby’s room or fold the baby’s clothes. Let them help you pack your hospital bag. If you can, take them to basic checkups to hear the baby’s heartbeat. The more they’re involved, the more they will understand about your needs during pregnancy.
• Remind them often of why you can’t do something, but that in a few months you can do it. This one is all about patience. My toddler likes to be carried, and unless I have my favorite baby carrier on hand, it just ain’t gonna happen. I remind him that my back can’t hold two kids at one time, but once the baby is here I’ll be able to carry him and hold him again. Same goes for being outside. My body just can’t tolerate the heat, so I often remind my two older kids that being inside is best for me until the weather is cooler.
• Prepare a fun box or have movies on hand. There are just some days when you won’t be able to do anything. Have a box or two filled with fun activities for the kids that they can manage on their own (crayons, coloring books, puzzles, etc) and have a list of movies you can watch. Refresh both every week so it’s always something new.
• Get help. This may be hard for some people, but when you need a break, enlist some helpers who can keep the kids entertained for a few hours. Let someone else take them to a park or play games with them while you rest.

Hang in there, mamas! Your kids will understand, someday.

Leave a Comment! 

How did your kids handle your pregnancy? How did you find ways to include them? 

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